Growing up in Canterbury in the early 1980s television was a big part of our lives.
We watched it, we loved it, we talked about it with friends and neighbours.
I can remember parents at the gates of St Stephen’s Primary School chatting enthusiastically about what they had watched last night.
Family fortunes was one of those shows. Bob Monkhouse was the first – and in my opinion best – presenter, but it was Max Bygraves who presided over one of its most hilarious moments.
A contestant whose family had made it through to the Big Money round gave the answer turkey to the first three questions – including the opener: name something people take with them to the beach.
His family subsequently failed to win the money, leaving them shooting unhappy looks in their teammate’s direction.
With that, here’s a rundown of some of the worst answers ever given in the show:
Name a scary animal: a squirrel
Name something a blind person might use: a sword
Name a bird with a long neck: Naomi Campbell
Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar
Name a dangerous race: The Arabs
Name something that flies that doesn’t have an engine: A bicycle with wings
Name a famous bridge: The bridge over troubled waters
Name something a cat does: Goes to the toilet
Name something associated with the police: Pigs
Name something slippery: A conman
Name a famous Scotsman: Jock
Monkhouse was the show’s host from 1980 until 1983 before he was replaced by Bygraves who hosted it until 1985.
There was a break in 1986 and it returned in 1987 with Les Dennis as host, having risen to national fame as a performer on Russ Abbot’s various tv shows.
Andy Collins has also presented the show and most recently Vernon Kay hosted a version called All Star Family Fortunes which featured a celebrity on each of the teams.
But for me you really can’t beat the brown and tan of Family Fortunes in the early 1980s…