Growing up in Canterbury in the early 1980s television was a big part of our lives.
We watched it, we loved it, we talked about it with friends and neighbours.
I can remember parents at the gates of St Stephen’s Primary School chatting enthusiastically about what they had watched last night.
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Family fortunes was one of those shows. Bob Monkhouse was the first – and in my opinion best – presenter, but it was Max Bygraves who presided over one of its most hilarious moments.
A contestant whose family had made it through to the Big Money round gave the answer turkey to the first three questions – including the opener: name something people take with them to the beach.
His family subsequently failed to win the money, leaving them shooting unhappy looks in their teammate’s direction.
With that, here’s a rundown of some of the worst answers ever given in the show:
Name a scary animal: a squirrel
Name something a blind person might use: a sword
Name a bird with a long neck: Naomi Campbell
Name an occupation where you need a torch: a burglar
Name a dangerous race: The Arabs
Name something that flies that doesn’t have an engine: A bicycle with wings
Name a famous bridge: The bridge over troubled waters
Name something a cat does: Goes to the toilet
Name something associated with the police: Pigs
Name something slippery: A conman
Name a famous Scotsman: Jock
Monkhouse was the show’s host from 1980 until 1983 before he was replaced by Bygraves who hosted it until 1985.
There was a break in 1986 and it returned in 1987 with Les Dennis as host, having risen to national fame as a performer on Russ Abbot’s various tv shows.
Andy Collins has also presented the show and most recently Vernon Kay hosted a version called All Star Family Fortunes which featured a celebrity on each of the teams.
But for me you really can’t beat the brown and tan of Family Fortunes in the early 1980s…