In just a couple of weeks, Britain will have a new Prime Minister, and unless something remarkable and unexpected happens, that Prime Minister will be Boris Johnson.
Boris is so well-known that he joins an elite circle of famous people who can get away with just being referred to by their first name. He’s so famous he doesn’t have to worry about things that other politicians have to worry about, such as getting caught lying or accidentally saying a British national in an Iranian prison was a spy.
We live in a post-fact world. A friend of mine used to say during the referendum that there weren’t enough facts around to make an informed decision. Well now we have more facts than we know what to do with. It’s impossible to walk barefoot across the playroom floor of debate without putting your foot on one of hundreds of excruciating Lego bricks of fact. The problem is, they don’t seem to change anyone’s mind.
I was having a debate with somebody recently about the EU army. I explained that we can use our veto to prevent it happening if we remain in the EU. He replied, “you would say that, you’re a remainer.”
I literally had no idea what to say next.
It doesn’t matter that the EU constitution is a public document, or that hundreds of articles from reliable sources exist explaining how the veto works. People believe what they want to believe, and for some that means all the facts in the world won’t change their minds.
Which all goes to show why Boris is about to become our Prime Minister. He is the man behind what must be considered one of the biggest lies in history: ‘£350 million a week to the NHS’ emblazoned on the side of a bus.
To the majority of Tory party members, it doesn’t matter that it’s a lie so outrageous it would put Goebbels to shame. It supports their view of Brexit, so frankly it doesn’t matter.
But before any of our loyal readers start booking one-way tickets to Macedonia, Mongolia, or as far away from London as their means will allow in order to escape this brave new world, let me offer a few words of comfort.
The Boris premiership could be the shortest in history. Nothing has changed with the Brexit situation. The EU will not renegotiate the Withdrawal Agreement and parliament will not approve a ‘no deal’ hard Brexit. Almost all roads lead to an autumn general election, and that is something that Boris is very unlikely to win. At least not with a majority.
So, if the thought of an over-privileged, misogynistic, rabble-rousing, poshly-spoken Donald Trump clone running the country fills you with dread, take solace. It is likely to go down in the record books as the shortest and most embarrassing failure in British political history.